🟣 Purple Flags

Not all signs are red. Some are just… purple.

In dating, we’ve learned to recognize green flags — the safe signals — and red flags — the warnings. But there’s something in between.
Not obviously bad. Not fully safe.
Something that makes you pause. Question. Tilt your head and wonder.
We call these: Purple Flags.

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What is a Purple Flag?

A Purple Flag is something that doesn’t scream danger — but doesn’t feel fully right either.
It might raise a subtle discomfort, a question, or a lingering doubt.

Sometimes, it’s a behavior that could be healthy or unhealthy, depending on the person, timing, or dynamic. Other times, it’s a trait that’s misunderstood, or simply not aligned with what you’re seeking.

Purple flags are contextual, not categorical.
They often live in the space between your intuition and your ideals.

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Why Purple Flags Matter

Many connections don’t fall apart because of clear red flags — but because of the purple ones we ignored.
We dismissed them, explained them away, or said,

“Maybe it’s nothing… maybe it’s just me.”

But purple flags are invitations to pause and explore:

• Is this person aware of what I’m sensing?
• Does this reflect a pattern or a one-time reaction?
• Can we talk about this with honesty and curiosity?

Purple Flags aren’t about judgment. They’re about discernment.
They’re a chance to grow your awareness — and to get clear on what you need, want, and deserve.

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What Makes a Flag Purple?

A trait or behavior might be “purple” if:

• It makes you feel uneasy, but you’re not sure why.
• It’s something you’re drawn to and unsure about at the same time.
• It’s a trait that’s okay in moderation, but could become harmful if left unchecked.
• It’s a behavior that’s misaligned with your values, but not inherently wrong.
• It’s a pattern that might be unresolved — either in them, or in you.

In short: Purple Flags often live in the realm of “it depends.”

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Green, Red, or Purple?

Let’s break it down:

Type	What it signals	What it feels like
🟢 Green Flag	Safety, alignment, emotional health	Grounding, peace, resonance
🔴 Red Flag	Emotional harm, manipulation, danger	Alarm bells, confusion, tension
🟣 Purple Flag	Uncertainty, misalignment, mixed signals	Subtle discomfort, lingering doubts

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What to Do With a Purple Flag

• Talk about it. Invite an open conversation instead of bottling it up.
• Reflect on it. Journal, breathe, or sit with the feeling. What does it trigger in you?
• Observe patterns. Does it happen once, or repeatedly?
• Trust your nervous system. Even if your mind says “it’s fine,” your body may know otherwise.

Purple Flags are not proof of incompatibility.
But they are invitations.
To stay awake. To be honest. To choose with clarity.

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A Final Thought

The world doesn’t need more perfect people.
It needs more self-aware people who can name what’s hard, stay curious, and grow in connection.
Recognizing Purple Flags isn’t about walking away too fast.
It’s about learning to walk with your eyes — and heart — wide open.

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Start paying attention to what feels purple.
It might be where the real answers live.